Unfinished untitled

How much do I interfere? Ok, maybe interfering is not the right way to put it...perhaps worrying, caring, asking, insist in making sure...I don't know...It is just too confusing now...
Maybe I shouldn't be doing this - writing these words. But then, do I keep it inside like all the rest? I wanted to be able to do things differently. I wanted to be able to know how to do things, what to say, when to say it...
If I'm as selfish as people have called me before in my life, shouldn't that mean that I shouldn't really care what way other people around me feel? Shouldn't that mean that, as a typical selfish person, I would be worried about my well being and not anyone else's? - as long as it doesn't have an impact on my well being...
But the truth this time is that I am really worried. "Is it a Qi Gong thing?" - poor girl actually thinks more about me than I deserve...no, really - it is not a Qi Gong thing - it is just things that I can feel, 'see' (in my own head, thoughts, etc...), sense or expect...I don't know...I had that feeling as I have many others in other different circumstances.
Am I always right? No, not always. Most times, though... I am afraid of being right this time... I'm afraid of asking, of opinionate on the matter, even to think about the situation...
I think that I don't want to think about it...but I do think about it - and much more...
We are raised in this society that tells us to worry about our family, our loved ones and our friends. When we grow older, we worry about our husband or wife and our sons and/or daughters... I'm stuck in this limbo of uncertainty about what to consider this person and consequently, how much do I worry about, how much do I express my worry, how much do I talk about it, how much do I say I care, how much do I demonstrate my worry? What is adequate for me that am nothing of the above mentioned, apart from a 'friend'?
By worrying, am I stepping too far? It shouldn't, because I am after all worried about a 'loved one' - a very, very much loved one!
But I feel bad about it. I feel like I am interfering with someone's life - someone that is not worrying about the same things...So why should I? Do I just leave it? Forget about it? Don't mention it again? Don't mention it anymore? Leave it? Hope for the best?
I'm worried. That's the main point...but I don't want to put more pressure on her to let me know about what is going on or about what has happened or could happen if...

(incomplete thoughts of a busy day that ended in the hospital...)