I want to help...

I don't feel well. There is a lot going on with me. I feel tired - as in exhausted of energy to keep me going for the day...
I know why, but I can't do anything about it. I would like to, but I can't. I don't know how to either...
I feel like this is the time when I could make a big difference and be of some assistance. All I can do is be around - that is not on a bad way, it is just that I can be around and if my help is needed, well then here I am. And I am glad to help.
I just feel that I can't do more...I am not enough to be of some help - I'm not experienced...I'm just a young person with not much experience in life.
I'm lucky (am I?) to have had bad things happening to me when I was younger so I know exactly what I DON'T want to do to other people and also what I DON'T want other people to do to me.
I've achieved a dream yesterday - and I'm proud of it - this is only the 3rd time that I have someone that I love nearby when I do something remarkable. And 2 of those times were within the last year...
How can I ever thank the fact that the person that I love was there - and was there to say and look so proud of me?
I thought I had found the answer to this question - and that was: I will be as great a human being, friend, lover, partner, companion, helper as that person is to me... But I have discovered that I can't get much of the "helper" being put in action... I don't know what to ask, when to ask, how to ask, what words to use, what gestures to make, what emotions to pass through...
I feel like a failure in so that I can't relieve that person of any of their heavy clouds at the moment... I can't get close...I feel like we are getting further away (as in a defensive mode of self-preservation so that you don't overload the other person with your problems because they have enough of their own to deal with...).
I wish nothing bad happens. I wish we can talk and help each other throughout this less clear journey along our path, I wish that we can live and be together forever...
"I wish I was the pedal brake that you depended on, I wish I was the verb 'to trust' and never let you down..."